Author's Insights

Preparing for when a death occurs

When a loved one dies, whether anticipated due to illness or unexpected due to an accident or medical crisis, our world is turned upside down. Often, the grief is so overwhelming that we don't know what to do or what steps to take first.

The last section of my organizer, When The Time Comes, is titled “When Death Occurs.” This section helps you walk through the intial steps to take after a death has occurred.

The first step, after notifying family and friends, is meeting with a funeral home who will assist you with funeral plans. This requires a telephone call to make an appointment to meet with a funeral director to discuss your options. This task is made easier if the individual had already discussed their wishes and/or completed the End of Life Questionnaire also found in When The Time Comes.

Did they want a funeral? Memorial service? Celebration of Life? Private service? Cremation? Religous service? Military rites? No service at all? Is there a burial site already selected? Prepaid funeral arrangements? Monument? What about special music? Flowers? Memorial donations? Pallbearers? All decisions that will need to be made.

The funeral home will need you to bring quite a bit of information on your initial visit to plan the funeral. Information or items that will be needed include (but not limited to): social security number, date and place of birth, mother and father's name, surviving relatives and where they live, military history and discharge papers, education and employment history, church affiliation, special achievements/organizations they belonged to, and any photographs you would like included.

You will also want to bring clothing, undergarments, and shoes if you would like. I recall the story of a person who instructed her family to make sure they take a pair of socks from her top drawer to the funeral home because her feet always got so cold. It was a small request but one that brought a smile and comfort to the family when they remembered this on planning day. Bring eyeglasses, jewelry, dentures or other personal items you would like included. You will also be asked about payment so be prepared with a credit card, cash, check or insurance assignment.

The funeral home will also ask how many death certificates you will need. Certified copies of death certificates will be very important as you begin the process of settling the estate and retrieving information on the decedent's behalf. Certified copies will be needed for life insurance and annuities, retirement and veteran benefits, social security and pension benefits, mortgage insurance claims, banking, investment and credit card accounts, and to transfer titles for vehicles and property. Certified copies of the death certificates are also needed for filing federal, state or city income taxes.

As you can see, there is a lot of information you will need to gather and decisions that will need to be made right away. Having the information prepared or recorded prior to a death will certainly make this very stress-filled event in someone's life a bit easier.

At minimum, take the time NOW to have the discussion with family members to help ease this burden that will fall to them. The best scenario is that you have not only had the discussion with your loved ones or representative in advance, but have also gathered the needed information into one file alleviating hours of searching for all the info needed. Do this for your family today...before the time comes