Author's Insights

The Holiday Chat

Thanksgiving Day was yesterday. A day of food indulgences for most people in the United States and spending extended time with family and friends. Some gatherings are joyful and loving while other gatherings might be grueling and tumultuous due to family rifts or loss of loved ones who were not seated at the table this year. Sometimes the chatter and activities are non-stop which can also cause anxiety for those who are more introverted or prefer a calmer surrounding.

I liked a comment I once received over Facebook saying, “we've hugged, smiled too much, had a bunch of dried up casseroles for dinner, and now we are all sitting in the family room staring at each other or our phones because we have nothing else to talk about! Any suggestions?” I found that amusing because I rarely lack ideas about having conversations, as many of my friends will attest to, they just are not always the conversations or topics that families want to have or know how to bring up.

For those who know me personally/professionally, know that I don't often shy away from having difficult or serious conversations. My personal philosophy is to address a problem/concern/issue head-on, hopefully in a calm and caring way, resolve and move forward. In my opinion, not having frank conversations can lead to uncertainty, misunderstandings, doubt, and in the long run, cause more anxiety and lost opportunities for growth.

If you find yourself with your extended family/friends over the remaining Thanksgiving holiday and run out of things to talk about, I have a few questions that can lead to meaningful conversations:

1. What do you want to happen with the things in your house if something were to happen to you?

2. Could you share or write down where all the important documents are and passwords if we were to need them if something happens?

3. Do you have your legal documents prepared?

4. What type of medical care do you want if you can no longer take care of yourself?

5. Are there personal stories behind certain possessions/keepsakes that I should know about?

6. What is the minimum quality of life that is acceptable to you?

7. What are your hopes/fears for the future?

Any of these questions, asked in an appropriate way, can open the door for more in-depth discussion with your family regarding their preparedness for issues we will all be faced with at some point and time in our future. Doesn't matter if we are 40 or 80 years old, the unexpected/expected can and does happen.

Take advantage of having family gathered to discuss these important questions so the future is not clouded with uncertainty and difficult decisions have to be made in haste.

DISCLAIMER:  The author of When The Time Comes does not claim to be an expert in the fields of banking, investments, accounting, insurance, real estate or law. The author does not provide legal advice. The information contained in this binder comes from the personal experience of the author working with families and individuals over the past 40 years as a registered nurse, health advocate, POA, Guardian and through pastoral care. Readers are advised to contact experts in the respective fields listed in the binder for additional information.

© 2022 Carol Havens | All rights reserved
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