Your CartOver the past few weeks I have had the opportunity to be a part of several group gatherings relating to aging and to also speak at a conference on aging. I always enjoy the one on one conversations I have with individuals who often have specific questions relating to being prepared for end of life issues or who share their own personal stories.
Most often the comments are something like, “It was so stressful trying to find all the right documents.” “You really see the worst in people (family) when you are dividing property.” “I never knew how much junk my Dad had collected over the years.” “I will never leave my kids with the kind of chaos I just went through!”
I can only smile and shake my head in understanding because that has been my experience on almost all the estates I have worked on over the years. It takes weeks/months to go through files. It takes weeks/months to clean a home out. Someone always gets their feelings hurt or walks away with a lifelong grudge after property has been divided.
Recently, a person shared with me that someone she knew had written a 4-page letter detailing all the information regarding banking, insurance, investments and such for the spouse to have in the event this person died. This person unexpectedly died 4 weeks later. What a gift to leave your family!
Another individual shared how her father made all the arrangements for his own funeral, contacted bankers, insurance agents and attorney's, all from his hospital bed before he died. Rarely, are we of that sound of mind to be able to do that on our own behalf at that time. Her comment, “I wish he would have done that sooner but what a blessing he gave us!”
When I end a talk relating to being prepared for end of life, I always encourage a people to, at minimum, do the following things:
-First and foremost, if you have not done so yet, contact an attorney to have a Will, Power of Attorney, and Healthcare Representative drawn up. This is a must! You need someone assigned to speak on your behalf while both living and after you have died. If you already have completed this task, pull the documents out and review them to make sure they still represent your intent.
-Meet with your bank to make certain all of your accounts are titled properly in the event your were to become incapacitated or die suddenly.
-Walk from room to room in your home and ask yourself “do I really want to leave all of this for my family or representative to have to go through?” Don't forget the basement, attic and garage!
-Look at your desk or filing system and make sure papers are in some type of organized system.
-Pull out every credit/debit card you find in your wallet, drawers, etc. then close and shred any card that is not being used. Rethink whether you really need to have all those department store cards that you opened to get 10% off your purchase!
-What has great sentimental value in your home? Maybe there is no monetary value but the story behind the item could be priceless to family members. Take the time to write it down for your family.
-Make a list of specific items that need to go to specific people.
My organizer, When The Time Comes, makes this process easier because it lists the details your loved ones or representative will need and also provides an easy fill-in-the-blank format to follow. But, regardless if you use my system or another – get organized and give this final gift of love to your family or representative. You will have lessened the burden for them during an already stress-filled time.